Take a look at the fuggin sea wall the pigs erected by my alma matter. The three rascals on the left were wearing those awful Guy Fawkes masks. God, I hate those things.

Dang, I bet the military regrets giving Tim Westberg’s Imagination an artists visa!

Everything I’ve ever tried to say.

The above is sand art. The below is bonkers vinyl.

Crucial cafe mural.

Marsa Matrouh, Egypt

A selection of songs to celebrate the shortest day of the year –  perfect for the drive home! And don’t forget the homeless this holiday season!

Downlode

-Alexandria

Anti-Selmi Document demonstration in Sidi Gabr, Alexandria

Anti-SCAF / anti-Selmi Document peaceniks at the demonstration

Al Nour’s anti-Selmi position is in the right, but hold up… let’s not be hypocritical… I’ve seen your campaign murals in Mamura Balad!

"Al Nour Party: The Qur'an is our Constitution"

Umm, this is making me think that you’re not opposed to supra-Constitutional principles in principle, but merely opposed to other groups’ supra-Constitutional principles. Such as the SCAF. I mean, what could be more supra-Constitutional than proclaiming “We’ve got this other book that is our real Constitution”?

This gets at my main beef with the Salafists. Dawgs deny the legitimacy of a civil state and, in an air-kiss to fascism, reject pluralism. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t dismiss dudes out of hand—Doomspirals Foreign Bureau meets with all parties & political affiliations!—but their rhetoric is on a steady creep toward telling other people what to do in the name of a supernatural being.

Doomspirals Foreign Bureau (+ assistant) meeting with Al Nour representative

No need for pluralism. "Islam is a General System that Suits Everybody"

And they’re turning up the heat around here; imposing their scoop flavor on everybody’s cone. It hits too close to home when I start seeing signs like this!

It’s hard to say if this café is pronouncing shisha “forbidden” out of religious pressure. (Or, maybe the image is just trying to say it’s forbidden to smoke shisha here with your shoes off if you’re a clip-art bohemian.) Either way, new crappy vibes akin to this jibe with my real problem with Salafists: they do not have an Egyptian personality. They are not warm, they do not take life easy, they do not return smiles, they are not gregarious, they have a grim-gross style. They’re nothing like my man, the max-popular Hoba, who spins a hilarious tale about smoking shisha in the jam embedded below.

Hoba here sings of a night out with his friends smoking shisha. After a couple of hagars he throws some funny business on the coals and his friends’ faces begin to warble & morph. He decamps from the café and begins his long, strange walk home, encountering trippy visions: an ant carrying an elephant, a wolf playing with ducks. At 1:20 he starts crooning I’m searching, I’m searching, I’m searching… What is he searching for, I asked my friend. “Himself.” Boing!

I meet regular dudes who tell me they’re Salafists… and I’m like, no you’re not! You’re wearing a pink sweatshirt with a rad yellow snowboarder and talking to me about how Texas has the best biggest cars and the best blondest babes. You tell me the Salafists are the “best Muslims” so you’re like, yeah, me too, and obviously they’d make the best parliamentarians: their uptight, bossy morals are the best qualification for office.

What.

Look, we can’t have Salafists take over this fair city and impose restrictions on leisure by banning smoking shisha by the sea or, what next, our Egyptian night-sports (backgammon, dominoes)? If you wanna get real O.G. salafist about it, the easy vibes were here before even the time of the Prophet; and you tempt fate trying to harsh the long-standing mellow. Was it not Antony who said to Cleopatra here in Alexandria…

Now for the love of Love, and her soft hours,

Let’s not confound the time with conference harsh;

There’s not a minute of our lives we should stretch

Without some pleasure now.    What sport to-night?

A military truck pulls up to the gate of Ali Ibn al-Talab School, one of the last polling centers to close in Montaza.

Happy to transport the fruits of their hard work to the next stage.

Proud, tired poll workers ride with the ballot boxes.

We tailed the military ballot truck across the district to the polling center. The military driver figured he was entitled to the shortest possible route & cut across town the wrong way on a one-way thoroughfare. This created a quite unnecessary traffic jam! But, against the current of upset law-abiding drivers, our convoy prevailed.

Ballot boxes arrive at Victoria College counting center. The trucks push slowly through cheering throngs. Honest electoral staff, republican heroes.

The scene at Victoria College is semi-coordinated mayhem. Ballot boxes pour in from polling stations across the district. The attendant polling staff shift into tabulation mode, set up folding tables, and set to their task. The circus and its tent were bursting at the seams. When I toured this facility earlier in the week while it was being set up, the director explained the epic proportions of the counting process. “I hope you have plenty of coffee,” I said. “Barrels,” he joked, not joking.

One of four Alex counting centers: Absolutely bonkers.

Solid dudes.

Counting through the night...

Dedication.

...through dawn into the next day.

At nightfall when the boxes arrived, the crowds were going nuts/bananas, nearly forcing the military to halt the entire process. By morning, the trudge of long hours had subdued the mania.

You're almost there, baby!

Somewhere along the line, doomspirals appeared on live TV. This segment shows us at work (slightly staged!). Honestly, I haven’t watched the interview portion—not ready to see what variety of nonsense is said after being awake for 40 hours. Maybe tomorrow, after some rest. p.s. on the everyone-is-max-exhasted tip: this evening at a counting center in Smouha, the chief judge on the dais picked up the mic to defuse an argument among officials/party agents. “We are all brothers in this new election. Let us all speak kindly to one another. Like you, I have not gone home to sleep, I have not gone home to eat. All night I only ate cookies!“

Rightly, he received a round of applause.

Last shot: one of the staff striking the counting tables at Smouha was sporting a quintessentially nonsense Egyptian shirt.

"Urban Nerds Carnival" What.

“Free For Ever”

Closer examination reveals that the mural was painted by Juliana’s brother. Didn’t realize Matt was tagging the North African coast! A more likely scenario: his zines are huge here; this is fan art. Love these faces.

Awesome anti-American mural.

What is the military up to?

Confusingly sweet Jan 25 mural. Appealing to the Saturday morning cartoon / Russel Crowe gladiator crowd…?

I can explain this one. In the political space opened by the Revolution there has been a proliferation of new parties. One of these new outfits is called the Renaissance Party. Like other newcomers to the game the party is fast trying to establish a political brand. Well, ask yourself this: Who is one of the best remembered Renaissance painters? Raphael. This is clearly a Renaissance Party campaign mural alluding to the modern Raphael, master of the sai. And the number 9? I got this. In each phase of the upcoming parliamentary election voting will take place in 9 governorates. Clearly part of a helpful voter education initiative.

al-Thawra al-Misreya Ninja Turtle = TMNT = Egyptian Revolution Ninja Turtle

This one is beautiful…

…and, mixed with the Pharaoh’s expression, sums up the situation in Egypt.

(And, on his nemes headdress where the asp is usually located… is that a gerber baby? And, if you want to get tru doom about it… does the gerber baby… have a gun in its mouth?!)