Archive for the ‘Internet Rhyming Logic’ Category

Taco Tidbits

July 8, 2013

From Harper’s Index:

harpers taco


From the NYT:

Taco Dibbits3


And, from our recent visit to Longfellow/Dante:

There was the Aretine, who from the arms
Untamed of Ghin di Tacco had his death,
And he who fleeing from pursuit was drowned.


The gentleman outlaw Tacco. Namechecked in Purgatorio 6:13-15


Drakkar Noir [Dark Arts Now]

August 16, 2012

It is well established that the rulers of Egypt are practiced in the art of Dark Numerology. They take sinister pride in sly calendrical communications. Take, for example, the court case against the American NGOs. When, of all dates, was it scheduled? The Fourth of July. BAM. EAT IT, UNCLE SAM.

This morning I was revisiting Mubarak’s super slick jailbreak from Tora Prison and I stumbled onto a coded message I shouldn’t have missed. Recall: Mubarak was on trial for directing violence against protesters during the January 25 revolution. The uprising is famously remembered as the “18 Days” that toppled his regime.

And the time from his conviction on June 2nd until he broke out of jail? 18 Days. BAM. EAT IT, EGYPTIANS. “You said I wronged you for 18 Days? Well here are your measly 18 days. No more, no less. Peace—I’m out!” &With that he sauntered out the front gate en route to chillax at his plush military hospital in the upscale suburb of Maadi.

The Life Aquatic w/ Eric Naiman

February 9, 2011

Critics gone wyld. From an review of an new Nabokov book penned by some ponce called Eric Naiman:

[Nabokov] mocked and celebrated… elephantine pedantry… in his novel Pale Fire, which is composed of a 999-line poem by an imaginary poet, John Shade, and a textual apparatus written by a crazed scholar, Kinbote…. Like most recent critics, Naiman belongs to the Kinbote school…. Every time Nabokov uses the words “associate” or “banal” in Bend Sinister, Naiman finds in them “ass” and “anal”, the clues to a homosexual sub-theme of the book. Every time in Lolita a word appears with “con” in it, from “constructed” through “connûmes” to “Conrad”, it contains a sexual equivocation on the French con…. In Pnin, a professor called Konstantin Chateau illicitly harbours not only con, of course, but also chat, and therefore pussy—a key to “Pnin‘s theme of aquatic pussy”.

What. Lit Crit.

Horton: Here’s a… huh?

June 16, 2010

Scott Horton has taken it to the next level over on his Harper’s blog. His new entry has no text, only a title: Obama as Frodo.

Most plaussible explanation: Listening to Obama’s Oval Office speech last night, taking bong hits while listening to “Ramble On” by Zeppelin, Scotty started thinking about his favorite subjects: Guantanamo, Central Asian despots, George F. Will, the Office of Legal Council in DOJ… then when Robert Plant started wailing on that crazy bit about “Twas in the darkest depths of Mordor / I met a girl so fair / But Gollum, and the evil one, crept up / And slipped away with her” it all made sense: Gollum was John Yoo/Jay Bybee, and Bybee is like BP, and [now looking back to his TV] only Obama (Frodo) is in the position to…  oh shit!

Dude, I’ve been there myself! I wish I didn’t have this day job so I could PARTY IN THE CENTER OF THE EARTH!!! Keep bloggin’!

LoL Creme

May 7, 2010

Sometimes people inadvertently bury a “time capsule joke”—a joke that doesn’t have any meaning until it’s dug up decades later. Case in point: the vocalist/multi-instrumentalist dude for 1970s smooth soft-rockers 10cc (most famous for their summer-breeze-after-a-divorce-style-jam “I’m Not in Love“—which for my smooth dollar sounds to be yacht rock cousins with Hall & Oates’ “Nothing at All“.)

As demonstrated below in the annotated snippet from 10cc’s allmusic profile, 10cc’s band name is derived from “the metric total of semen ejaculated by the average male”. And what happens to be the name of one of the band’s singer/song-writers? LoL Creme. A fake named developed before the advent of the internet, it’s abbreviations, or jokes about internet abbreviations. Truly a visionary joke.

Weekend at Burney’s

April 28, 2010

Here’s an inconsequential & dubious theory: The title & covert of the new Hole album, Nobody’s Daughter, is an allusion/homage to the influential 18th century British author Frances Burney as an attempt by Courtney Love to self-induct herself into the pantheon of haute couture babes… Consider the facts! The cover art—a detail from an oil painting of M. Antoinette by Elisabeth-Louise Vigee-Le Brun—situates the viewer firmly in the world of prominent 18th century women—both celebrities & artists.

Item 2! The reverse cover art prominently features a pendant of the letter ‘B’… which obviously stands for “Burney”.

Item 3: Consider the album’s title in connexion with an excerpt from Catherine Gallagher’s Nobody’s Story: The Vanishing Acts of Women Writers in the Marketplace 1670-1820. In this study of gender & authorship in the Long 18th Century, Gallagher pays particular attention to the diaries of a young Frances Burney:

No further exposition required.

Questions for further reflection: (1) What is the relationship between the concept of Nobody/No-body and the album’s depiction of two ‘decapitated’ women?

(2) Does tension exist between, on the one hand, drawing explicitly on historical precursors and, on the other, claiming to be nobody’s daughter?

(3) If instead the title alludes to Frances Bean and not Frances Burney, how does that rank on the inappropriateness scale?